How to accept the refusal of relatives to evacuate – advice from a psychologist

We talked about how to convince older people to leave their home to move to a safer place. But what if the parents flatly refuse to leave? Psychologist Svetlana Arefnia explained how to react to this in the Zirkoviy Shlyakh program on the Ukraine channel.

“Albeit under bullets, but in your own bed,” is the phrase we most often hear from relatives, parents and loved ones. People are not ready to leave their home and leave. This is especially true for the elderly.

How to make their decision

• 1 step. Calmly ask the person to explain their choice. The psychologist said that speaking aloud, a person hears himself from the outside, choosing certain words that reduce the level of emotions of those leaving.
• 2 step. Let the person know that they are fully responsible for their decision.

We try to control everything and take responsibility for ourselves, although a loved one is no longer a child. But the right way to mutual understanding is the acceptance of someone else’s choice, – commented Svetlana Arefnia.

• 3 step. Tell about your feelings that it hurts you to leave a person, that you will suffer, that it is very difficult for you to understand why he does not want to leave, but you accept his choice and will be very worried.

Your empathy helps a lot the person who stays, – said the psychologist, – and at the same time calms you, because you do not accumulate emotions in yourself.

• 4 step. Hearing the refusal to evacuate, you can be angry, offended, be at a loss. But, always stay in touch, call and write to him.

Now it is very important to talk a lot about love, because it supports a person. And if suddenly something happens, you will not regret that you did not have time to say the most important words. Therefore, talk about your feelings as often as possible, Svetlana Arefnia advised.

Watch more videos on the YouTube channel “Zirkoviy Shlyakh”.

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