In times of war, when couples find themselves in a state of wild uncertainty and life threat, maintaining a relationship, even if it lasts for many years, may not be strong enough.
People break up and get divorced during the war more often because they do not have the strength to compromise and put up with the shortcomings of a partner / partner / Photo: unsplash.com, freepik.com
What happens to relationships during a war, why do some couples break off relationships, while others, on the contrary, get better? The fact is that in order to maintain relationships, we need a resource. Why are there so many divorces and breakups in wartime? and is it possible to cope with this – said the psychologist Yulia Topalova.
To compromise or not pay attention to some shortcomings of a partner, you need a resource. Providing support to a partner, solving problems – all this also needs a resource. And during the war, when we found ourselves in a state of wild uncertainty and threat to life, this may not be enough strength. And this leads to problems, for example.
Supporting a partner, solving problems – all this also needs a resource: but during the war there is none / Photo: Pexels
1. Injuries rise. The inability to reach a compromise entails internal struggle and suffering. For “I want from a man what he cannot give me.” This may remind us of our childhood, when mother was always preoccupied or father was absent. And this raises a lot of pain and anger that fall on the partner.
2. We face problems that we previously avoided. Because almost the entire resource is spent on containing anxiety and stabilizing the situation. And we cannot turn a blind eye to socks scattered all over the house or tasteless borscht. In addition, these problems can be dragged along by others: if he cannot remove his socks, then how can you count on him when the rocket is flying?
3. Different reaction and living of stress. One person can digest everything alone, while the other, on the contrary, needs communication and support.
By the way, not only living stress can be different, but also the general attitude to marriage, duties in a couple, and much more. And sometimes it is a very unpleasant surprise.
To part “environmentally friendly” and not abruptly has now also become a problem due to the same lack of energy and resources / Photo: Pexels
In addition, breaking off relations “environmentally clean” and not abruptly has also become a problem now. Because of the same lack of energy and resources. For we can only be polite and calm when we are safe.
Now there are more and more cases when a woman or a man silently collects things and departs in an unknown direction. What to do with all this? Difficult question because each situation must be dealt with separately. – and a psychologist or psychotherapist will help with this.
We also wrote how to save relationships – 5 secrets of good sex that not everyone knows about.
Also read how to save the psyche during the war and regain the joys of life.
Source: Segodnya
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