(by Nicoletta Tamberlich) (ANSA) – ROME, NOVEMBER 20 – “The more I saw things fall the more I refused to accept reality. The only thing that interested me was to please him and I didn’t care that the price to pay was my unhappiness and consequently that of my son “. So Selvaggia Lucarelli, writer, journalist for radio, newspapers and TV, blogger, inflexible judge of the program Dancing with the stars, describes in the book ‘Crepacuore – story of an emotional addiction (Rizzoli – € 17.00) – as in the lucky podcast ” Just me “(Chora Media downloaded by a million people) the most unspeakable consequences of a toxic relationship that lasted four years, between an idyllic beginning, passion, humiliation, despair, abandonment, degradation, farewells, relapses (he was in his 30s, had recently divorced and was the mother of a three-year-old boy). In which nothing, in her life, had a chance: from work to friends, the obsession with a story that had no possibility of working, slowly, like a weed fungus, has affected everything around her. In a conversation with ANSA he explains “I spent 10 years writing it in black and white, after the podcast I then received hundreds of mail letters, many wrote and thanked me, many testimonials, I had to do it.
It is not a j’acuse that denounces the narcissist, but exactly paints the competition between the two parties, between the two actors in this story, because they are co-responsible for a story poisoned by a toxic scheme “. It is no coincidence that the author dedicates this book to all those who have lived a history of emotional dependence, to those who have come out of it and to those who believe they have no escape.
But how can a professionally affirmed, intelligent woman not sniff out the deception ?: “Up to the age of 35 I lived almost unconsciously, then in reality the symptoms had to be investigated elsewhere. professional tools, but it is also true that by putting together the many testimonies that came to me after the podcast, I can assure you that there are similarities, such as the abandonment syndrome. Narcissists always show up with a very shiny note, they give you this idea of being the only one, always from their point of view, therefore the only one who is allowed to enter certain spaces, the only one with which they open up. “I have always run away”. “I have never lived with nobody, but with you … “” In hindsight the signs were all there. The first email in which he, after all, talked only about himself and told me to look for his name on the search engine. The first fight, about the softener cap closed badly. Finding yourself on your knees, in the shower, with one goal: to clean all the joints in the tiles. The baby bed? Let’s hide it in the Spa. In hindsight it’s easy to recognize that the name of the restaurant to go to on the first night was the last thing I ruled. “
Why is he talking about abandonment syndrome? “We absorb what we see or live in our childhood, the unspoken, my mother who wanted to do many things in life, then didn’t realize them. When she met my father she gave up a part of herself convinced that he could fill it. That emptiness never gave her peace “. Lucarelli also speaks in the book of annihilation and fear “because with drugs it works like this in every hole, the sense of well-being has a shorter duration. But you continue to pierce yourself, what some have defined destructive hope”. It also uses a word: death. “I talked to dozens of people all of them pronounced ‘I risked dying, I almost died, I thought I was going to die, I wanted to die’.
Just yesterday a girl wrote to me and told me that it was a car accident that saved her, at which point she understood that it was time to break “. There are stories” like hanging paintings, everyone sees them as crooked, except the two inhabitants of the House. Stories that have nothing to do with happiness “.
Did that man ever apologize, or was she ever curious to look for him? “No. I think you are really cured when you no longer have curiosity. Until once I realized that I was in” his “way. Do emotional addictions also affect men? “One of the stories on the podcast is very touching and painful, almost annihilating, starring a man, it lasted enormously, 10 years”. Lucarelli is cured and happy she has a boyfriend who is very much in love with her Lorenzo, 15 years younger, who is a cook, the son who loves horror films. Have you read the book Leon? “Not yet, he will but he has heard podcasts, he commented, now I understand why they are like this, he is very ironic.” (HANDLE).
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Source From: Ansa
I have been working in the news industry for over 10 years now and I have worked for some of the biggest news websites in the world. My focus has always been on entertainment news, but I also cover a range of other topics. I am currently an author at Global happenings and I love writing about all things pop-culture related.
