Sex during the war – where did the libido disappear and how to return it, the sexologist revealed the secrets

The topic of sex during the war divided Ukrainians into two camps: some are waiting for victory in order to resort to love pleasures, and the rest do not get out of bed between the air siren. To know for sure how are things with sex during the hostilities among the Ukrainiansteam segodnya.ua held its own “study”.

Before that, everyone on the site was offered to take a questionnaire. “Do you have sex during the war?” The results made us think: out of 2,357 people who answered the question, more than half (73.5% – this is the sum of the answers to the first three questions) admitted that they now have problems with sex or it does not exist at all.

More than half of Ukrainians admitted that they had problems with sex because of the war or it didn’t exist at all / A photo: “Today”

Only 19% of respondents are doing well with sex, and 7.5% are generally wonderful, that is, their intimate life has become more active than before the war. Comment on poll results we asked a family psychologist, sexologist and psychotherapist Alyona Shcherban.

Alena Shcherban / Photo: press service

– How would you comment on the results of our survey on sex during the war?

– Ukrainians live in a state of constant stress, so it is not surprising that we are a little short of sex. Intimacy faded into the background and this fact can be explained by purely physiological factors. In extreme situations, the body produces large amounts of cortisol. This hormone protects us from stress, but at the same time blocks sex hormones.

That is why, with the outbreak of the war, many had the feeling that they did not need sex at all. A small percentage of people in whose lives there is more sex can also be explained. For example, in men who are at war or take care of the safety of their relatives every day, the body produces testosterone. As a result, the need for sex grows.

– Libido during the war is reduced. How can men and women get it back?

– I just want to calm down: the desire to have sex will return as soon as you are completely safe. The body will stop producing excess cortisol and thoughts of sex will reappear in the mind. It is also possible to return libido during the war, but for this you need to try a little.

Before you start having sex, arrange a romantic dinner with kisses and hugs, watch an erotic movie with your partner, take a bath together. This will warm up sexual interest in your loved one and make sex enjoyable. Just like before the war.

– According to the logic of evolution, a war in which many people die should promote sex, because it is a continuation of the family. Should we expect a new sexual revolution in Ukraine, as well as a baby boom after the victory?

– I don’t think it’s worth it. Yes, after the Second World War there was a real baby boom in Europe, but then the situation was different. Contraceptives were not as common as they are now, and large families were considered the norm.

Ukrainians are now more responsible for the birth of children, so the baby boom after the victory is not worth waiting for / Photo: unsplash.com

Today, Ukrainians are very responsible about the birth of children. Almost every child is planned. In addition, the age of parents has increased: a significant percentage of Ukrainians become parents for the first time after 30 years. This is considered the norm.

– Esland before the war, the couple had sex several times a week, and now only once a month – is that normal? Does anything need to be done?

– War changes the rules of life, including intimate ones. How often to have sex, each couple decides for themselves. And each option – once a week or once a month – is normal. If you have problems with sex, you should contact a specialist.

Sex is a natural need of the organism even in time of war: it should not be vetoed. / Photo: freepik.com

For example, my clients have talked about how an air raid siren started to sound during sex. This became for them a kind of psychological anchor, which further prevented them from relaxing. There is also a syndrome “surviving”.

People feel guilty because they managed to survive when others die somewhere, so they deliberately deprive themselves of sex, supposedly having no moral right to it. It’s a delusion. Sex is a natural need of the body. It should not be vetoed.

– And how does this affect the military fighting on the front line?

– The psyche of a fighter from the front line can be compared to a naked nerve. All body systems work on the edge, producing adrenaline and testosterone, so the guys experience constant excitement. And, of course, they strive to find sexual relaxation. So that don’t forget about phone sexif your loved one is on the front line now.

– Now the trend is to support the fighters of the Armed Forces of Ukraine “nudes”, which are produced by Ukrainian girls. This is fine? Do you support such initiatives?

This is absolutely normal, if it does not violate the current legislation of Ukraine. I know that thanks to sales “nudes” (photo of an erotic nature – Approx.) managed to collect a lot of money that were spent on the purchase of things needed for the army. Volunteer Initiative “theronlifans”which appeared on Twitter at the beginning of the war, already in March sold “nudes” for more than 5 million hryvnia!

Thanks to sales “nudes” managed to raise considerable funds for the army / Photo: unsplash.com

So if it brings us closer to victory, why not? In general, there are tips from American psychologists about the motivation of a fighter at the front. The mood of the soldiers is improved by children’s drawings, toys, comfortable shoesdelicious food, sweets… I think “nudes” perfectly complement this list.

– Can the soldiers of the Russian army have problems after their meeting with “witches from Konotop”who wished them to have “didn’t stand”?

– I do not believe in black magic, but I know for sure that it can influence those who believe in it. If the Russian soldiers find out that the witches from Konotop performed a certain ritual to rid them of erections, and get scared, the result can be achieved. Nobody canceled psychosomatics.

If Russian soldiers get scared, the result can be achieved, no one has canceled psychosomatics / Photo: weekend

Will the popularity of the military among women increase after the war? Can they become the heroes of women’s sexual fantasies?

– Our fighters are already heroes of women’s sexual fantasies. At least seventeen of my twenty clients reported this. The fact is that a man in uniform makes women feel safe and security. And this is the basic component for physical contact.

In addition, among the Ukrainian soldiers there are many handsome men who have already become new sex symbols. To be honest, I myself am subscribed to several handsome men in uniform on social networks.

We also wrote how to save a relationship if there is no sex for a long time.

Also, learn how to keep feelings at a distance.